Helpful Clues to Build Rapport
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How to Read the Cards Now that we have a general idea of each social style
(previous article "Build Rapport Quickly and Drive up Your Closing Ratios!"),
let’s look at how to spot styles in others. Remember that we’re all complex,
unique individuals – made up of aspects of all styles. What we’re going to do is
to uncover clues about someone’s style(s) and form an opinion. It takes
practice. But it’s well worth the effort.
Clues can come from four areas: Clothing, Body Language, Surroundings, and
Speech. Sometimes the clues will help us determine who someone is; sometimes
they’ll help us figure out who they’re not.
Clothing: Not all styles will give you clues through their clothing, but
often, Analyticals and Expressives will. Analyticals will frequently dress
conservatively - clothing pressed, buttoned-up, and muted colors. Expressives,
on the other hand, often wear very colorful, sometimes outlandish clothing.
Their clothing will often stand out in a crowd. If a prospect isn’t wearing
something colorful (especially in a business setting), chances are, they aren’t
an Expressive. The other two styles, Commander and Stabilizer, generally won’t
offer clues through their clothing.
Body Language: You can pick up some great clues here. Both Analyticals and
Stabilizers tend to be introverted, and reflect this by the way they interact
with others. They’ll often sit back in their chair while talking to you. They
hold their feelings close to the vest, so to speak. Commanders and Expressives,
on the other hand, tend to sit forward when interacting. Notice how some people
will move into your space and even touch you on the arm, while others will keep
their distance during a conversation and may even cross their arms? The ones
that come closer and seem more open are the Commanders and Expressives, while
the more distant ones are the Analyticals and Stabilizers.
Surroundings: How an individual keeps their office or home can offer
excellent clues as to their predominant social style. As you might expect, an
Analytical’s space will generally be tidy, neat, and organized. A place for
everything and everything in its place! Expressives, on the other hand, aren’t
exactly known for their neatness. If someone’s office seems cluttered or filled
with fun, playful items, they’re probably an Expressive. If their space is
practical, but sparse in its trappings, you may be with a Commander. If they
seem to focus on family and relationships in the things surrounding them (like a
family picture wall) you could be dealing with a Stabilizer. Remember, these are
just clues, not absolutes. Try to gather as many clues as you can before making
a decision as to their social style(s).
Speech: One of the easiest ways to spot someone’s style is through their
speech. By that, I mean the pace of speech, the volume of their speech, and the
words they use. Analyticals speak with a measured pace, maintain an even, almost
monotone, volume, and will use words that they best relate to. You’ll often hear
them use phrases such as: "let me have the details", "I need more facts", or
"let me think about it." Commanders will speak at a much more rapid pace, much
louder than an Analytical, and will use expressions like: "what’s the bottom
line here?", "get to the point" or "how long will this take?" Expressives often
speak rapidly, loudly and expressively, and will often laugh and smile. They
love to tell stories and jokes, and will generally talk much more than the other
styles. Stabilizers will speak more slowly and softly, and often will start
conversations with discussions of leisure time or family. They may use words and
phrases like: "help", "team", or "work together" Picking up clues takes
practice. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Practice wherever you
are – in line at a coffee shop or at the bank, waiting at restaurants or with
the wait staff, with coworkers, or at a party. One of my favorite ways to get an
indication about a prospect is to listen to their voicemail message when you
call. After you’ve made a determination as to their social style(s), keep
observing and see whether on-going clues confirm your guess or contradict it. As
your ability to read others improves, you’ll be able to read someone and then
predict how they’ll react to certain situations.
Playing Your Hand Now that you have a better understanding of the four social
styles and how to identify them, how can you use that knowledge to improve your
ability to build rapport and close more sales? Remember not to follow the Golden
Rule! (Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.) Instead of
communicating in the style you’re most comfortable in, work on communicating in
the style they’re most comfortable in. With Analyticals, use facts and figures.
Details matter. They’re the ones that, when they say, "Let me think about it,"
they really mean it! Don’t go too fast, be too pushy, be inaccurate, or be too
light-hearted. With Commanders, get to the bottom line. Don’t burden them with
the details (yet), just have them ready if asked for. Don’t let your
presentation ramble – stay on track and make your point. They don’t want their
time wasted. With Expressives, details make them glassy eyed. Keep your
presentation light, colorful, and somewhat entertaining. They’ll buy because
they had a good time with you, rather than on the logic. With Stabilizers,
relationships rule. If you get right into your business, they won’t connect with
you. They want to connect with you. They want to have you understand them and
they want to understand you. Don’t rush them, and "work together", to solve a
problem.
Summing Things Up If you truly want to have a thriving book of business, you
need to understand people and have them connect with you. Study the traits of
the four social styles (Analytical, Commander, Expressive, Stabilizer). Practice
picking up clues from prospect’s clothing, body language, surroundings, and
speech. Then, make a conscious effort to modify what you say and how you say it
to match your prospects social style(s). You’ll connect more easily and
comfortably, and you’ll see your closing ratios climb!
Written by Michael Beck, "Head Zookeeper" at
http://www.ClientMonkey.com , a
marketing strategies website dedicated to getting more clients, making more
money, and having more fun! Receive a FREE program on recruiting & prospecting
success at:
http://www.PowerRecruitingandProspecting.com.
