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Can You Learn To Manage Your Personality


John Knights

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John Knights, LeaderShape, explains how you can manage your emotions and solve your problems.

Emotional intelligence is about managing the development of emotions in yourself and others. If you can identify emotions (yours or others) and then decide how to respond to them in a way that will have the most positive outcome, then you are well on your way to becoming emotionally intelligent. It is about channelling our emotions in a positive direction.

Daniel Goleman, who popularised Emotional Intelligence in his book of the same name - first published in 1995 – defined EI simply as being “about learning to manage your personality”. Emotional Intelligence allows us to think more creatively and to use our emotions to solve problems. It gives us the ability to allow our emotions to inform our intellect and power our achievements.

Research showed that “success at work is 80% dependent on EI – only 20% on IQ” – HR Magazine – 1997 (based on work by Goleman).

How we react to emotions can determine how successful we are in our lives. First we feel the emotion (sadness, anger, fear, shame, etc.), and then we feel compelled to do something as a result of feeling that emotion. To be successful, we need to control that instinct to act and instead ask “what do I need to be aware of”, “what goal of mine is involved here?”, “how should I respond to get the best result?.” Do you want to achieve your goal or finish up being frustrated? Emotional Intelligence helps you get this right. It has an impact on everything you do.

EI can be broken down into 4 core competencies.
The first 2 are the Personal Competencies of:

  • Self-Awareness – understanding ourselves.
  • Self-Management – managing ourselves.

And the second 2 are Social Competencies

  • Social Awareness – understanding others
  • Relationship Management – managing our relationships with others

Check out a few aspects of your level of EI by asking yourself how often you do the following (never, occasionally, sometimes, usually, or always?):

  • I realise the links between feelings and what I think, say and do.
  • I behave calmly when under stress.
  • I demonstrate an awareness of how others are feeling.
  • I spot potential conflict, bring disagreements into the open and help de-escalate.

But more important, how would the people around you rate you on these questions?

If you would like more information on EI, take a look at LeaderShape’s Emotional Intelligence Profile Assessment tool. If you would like to comment on this article, please contact John Knights at LeaderShape on +44 (0)870 990 5576.

About the Author

John Knights a Co-founder and Chairman of LeaderShape Ltd. “My purpose in business is to help leaders develop leadership excellence.” He is an experienced Coach, Mentor and Facilitator of individuals (especially CEOs and Senior Managers), teams and peer groups. His business experience encompasses a broad range of senior management responsibilities in international corporate environments in the U.S.A., Europe, U.K. and Asia. To boost your leadership skills and understanding, please call: +44 (0)870 990 5576 or visit

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Article Published/Sorted/Amended on Scopulus 2009-10-09 11:54:20 in Personal Articles

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