Eliminate Conflicting Intentions
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For a couple of years now, I’ve worked with clients regarding the impact that
conflicting intentions can have on a person’s success, but it wasn’t until the
year – 2005 – that I got to experience the impact firsthand.
Before I tell you my experience with it, let me explain exactly what it is.
If consciously and outwardly you have the intention to achieve something –
anything – but subconsciously (internally) you feel or believe just the
opposite, the intentions are in conflict and cancel one another out. The
consequence is that you get average, mediocre results.
Let me offer a simple example. If you decide you want to achieve a certain
sales goal, but inside – in your heart of hearts – you feel that having lots of
money will make you superficial or insincere (yes, some people feel this way),
then no matter how hard you work, your results will just be OK. Not great. Not
poor. Just OK. However, when you are able to release – truly release – the
conflicting intention or belief, you allow the Universe to help you accelerate.
And you achieve your goals.
Intentions and beliefs that cause conflict come in all shapes and sizes. Here
are some examples that I’ve seen. (And I’ve seen the results that people have
when they release them.)
• I’m not worthy of great success • I don’t think I can handle the workload
if I’m really successful • Someone really attractive wouldn’t be interested in
me • People with lots of money are materialistic • If I have plenty of money,
people will want to use me or take advantage of me • If I have lots of success,
I’ll have to do too much of the things I don’t enjoy • It’s not fair for me to
succeed when so many others don’t succeed
These intentions and/or beliefs run the gamut of emotions, often don’t make
logical sense, and are always very personal. Sometimes we bury them very deeply.
But in every case, we know they’re there.
Now to my experience this year with conflicting intentions…
I’ve built what most coaches would consider to be a successful business. The
problem was I hadn’t ever reached the level of success that I wanted. My level
of success was very consistent – and very flat. Then, this past year, two major
events occurred in my life. I went through a divorce and my father died. We had
decided a couple of years ago to go our separate ways in 2005 and, although we
have had some painful moments surrounding the divorce, we remain friends. That
wasn’t where the conflicting intention resided. Instead, it lay in a subtle
aspect of our relationship; an aspect that caused me – somehow, in some way – to
hold back in my business success. When the formalities of the dissolution were
behind us and I was able to release the internal "intention" that was
conflicting with my external intention, my business started to grow. Not only
did it start to grow, it started to grow by 50% a month!
And then, a couple of months later, my father died. I was never very close to
my dad, but his death had a great impact on me. I had a number of feelings and
emotions surrounding his death, but one of them led to the following insight. Do
you know what happens when both of your parents die? (My mother had died many
years ago.) You become an orphan. Now, most of us think of orphans as small
children, but in fact, anyone without parents is an orphan. This led to an
important shift for me. (Obviously, everyone will not feel this way.) I came to
realize that I had always considered myself to be my father’s son, and as such,
could always fall back on him. Now that he was gone, I had no one to rely on but
myself. When I released this conflicting belief of being able to fall back on
someone else (I never said these intentions/beliefs made sense!), my business
skyrocketed. Within months of his death, I had my best month ever. Not only was
it a great month, but I blew the lid off, bettering my previous very best month
by over 50%! And the growth continues…
Over the years I have worked with many clients to help them identify and
release their conflicting intentions. When they are able to release them, their
world changes. Dramatically. Their business takes a leap forward and the future
they once envisioned becomes a real possibility. If you are one of the many
professionals struggling to break through your apparent ceiling on success,
consider what conflicting intentions you are harboring. It takes some quiet,
reflective time and a willingness to listen to and acknowledge your inner voice.
But you’ll find it to be THE most productive thing you can do to accelerate your
About the Author
by Michael Beck, an Executive Coach and Strategist specializing in
employee engagement, executive development, and leadership
effectiveness. Connect on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mjbeck
and visit www.michaeljbeck.com
to learn more.
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Article Published/Sorted/Amended on Scopulus 2008-11-30 16:10:29 in Personal Articles