Six Steps To Avoid Being Manipulative
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Manipulation is all about controlling others for your own advantage. As a
professional you definitely don't want people thinking you are manipulating them
into buying your products and services. In fact, your fear of being perceived as
being manipulative may be putting you off having some sales conversations.
So how do you ensure you are not being manipulative and that you are not
being perceived as being manipulative? Here are 6 steps:
Step One - Work out the value of what you offer. Get really clear on the
value you offer your clients and the results you deliver. The clearer you get
the more passionate you will become and your confidence will naturally soar.
People will notice your confidence, your passion and your authentic desire to
help them and there will be no feeling - or presence - of manipulation in the
Step Two - Have a conversation with the intent of helping people get what
they want. If you have a sales conversation with the intent of getting what you
want - a sale - then your focus is on getting an outcome which is good for you
and this is more than often perceived as manipulation. So forget about you and
instead have a conversation solely to discover if the person you are talking to
wants the results and value you can deliver. With this intent manipulation will
Step Three - Have a conversation with the intent of gaining a client versus
making a sale. The difference is subtle but the long term ramifications on your
business are enormous. Come from a place where you view the first sale as just
the beginning of a long term relationship where they are now your client. I am
sure you have had the experience with the "hit and run" salesman. They made the
sale, got your money, which is all that they wanted and you never see them
again. You were left feeling manipulated.
Step Four - Ask questions with the intent to understand if you can help the
person get what they want. If you ask questions with this intent the person you
are talking to will feel relaxed and will open up to you. Contrast this with
people who zoom through asking you questions and you know they are not really
interested in your answers. You feel that all they want to do is quickly get to
the point of telling you what is good for you - their solution. Again, you feel
the presence of manipulation. So it's easy enough to change - just change your
Step Five - Listen with the intent of understanding. When you do ask
questions, listen without judgments or assumptions and with the intent to
understand. Again contrast this with the manipulation you feel with those people
who pretend to listen to you and are really only waiting to pounce as soon as
they can so they can start telling you what is good for you.
Step Six - Be committed but not attached to the outcome. When you have a
sales conversation, be passionately committed to helping them make the right
decision for them. Do not be attached to them deciding to become your client.
Give them the space and the respect to make their own decision. They will feel
your commitment and your lack of attachment and they will translate this as your
genuine desire to do what is right for them (as opposed to what is right for
By following these six steps you will find it easy to avoid being
manipulative or being perceived as manipulative in your sales conversations. Try
out these six steps and not only will you be more relaxed but you will attract
more people who will want to be your client.
(c) 2007, Tessa Stowe, Sales Conversation.
About the Author
Tessa Stowe teaches small business owners 10 simple steps to turn
conversations into clients without being sales-y or pushy. Her FREE monthly
newsletter is full of tips on how to sell your services by just being yourself.
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Article Published/Sorted/Amended on Scopulus 2007-04-15 18:50:13 in Personal Articles